These past few weeks have been a bit chaotic.
At work i can't really relax, the vacation period has begun and we have a lot more work to do. But it's not only a lot of work that doesn't let me relax, it's also the people i work with. It's hard to work with people who don't know what listening is and do whatever they feel like despite the fact that your manager tells you that you have to have priorities and we have to work together.
But today i have a day off again and i slept till 10h30 and it felt great.
I haven't been able to sleep good the last few weeks and i was beginning to feel very very tired, and agitated and i got irritated with everything and nothing.
It's been raining for the last couple of weeks and i really miss the sun. I need its energy, it's warmth. Just i miss my friends.
Sometimes it's really hard not to able to call them up and go have a drink, just talk for a couple of hours and then go home with a good feeling.
My escapes with my best friend is what i miss the most. we used to just get in the car and drive somewhere, most of the times we got lost but it was really cool. We would always talk about everything and nothing and it made me feel good.
Because of my choices i don't see my friends that mucht anymore. I knew that from the start but i always thought i could always make new friends in another place, but it turned out not to be so easy as i had thought.
At work i feel i have found 2 friends that really care about me and it feels nice. I can talk to them about almost everything and they listen. The only down side is that they're older than me and they have other interest wich makes it less easy to call them up and go have a drink like i did with the friends i kind of left behind.
I guess that's the way it goes when it comes to choices. You never know what they'll bring and you always hope for the best. Maybe this is the best but i still miss something. Which is only human. We can't be completely happy, we have to miss something otherwise we think there's something wrong. It's in our nature to doubt what seems certain and even though we all seek happiness it whatever form it may have, if it comes to us we always feel unsatisfied. It's our nature to be dramatic and never be satisfied.
I believe the rain outside knows it better than me.
5 comments:
Giving up a life is hard and well everyday I do thank you for giving it up for me.
It's hard to make new friends, but i'm gald that you found some lovely people at work. Don't let the other bastards get to you too much.
Friends and family are unreplaceble, that's why i believe i wouldn't have the balls to move abroad as you did.
Some of my friends took that step as well, each one of them for their own and unique reason, but in the end they all complaint about the same: they miss home.
It's in our nature not to be fully satisfied.
I hope you can carry on with your struggle and somehow manage to put all that nostalgia behind.
;)an old friend
is it okay if i write in portuguese? since u're nostalgic about home and your friends, you must be nostalgic about the language as well, huh? well, it's an approach. but i'll skip it for now. ;)
for starters, i must say it's a brilliant idea that you had when you decided to start a blog. yay! it's good to be reading your words again! and, wow, u're still so intense. it's somewhat good. one must get concerned about it, but what the hell... it means u're still that beautiful person. =]
as to the post itself... you know, that is exactly what i love so much about rainy days. they bring back the good memories. in a shape of nostalgia or yearning. reminds you of things that sunny days make you forget. it's probably because i'm getting old, but i do enjoy the nostalgic moments. it's like a balance to the fact that you're aging, you know. like, you're aging, and ouch! you have so many past memories. but at the same time it should work as a reminder of all the good (and bad) things you've done and all you've lived. and if it sounds way too nonsensical or irrelevant, you may forgive me. im aging fast. =p
tell you what, it is my turn to leave home (details on an email message i'll be sending you soon) and try new things. i'm gonna need your advices!
keep writing, keep posting!
cheerio!
x
Of course you write in portuguese, i only post in english because some of my friends can't read portuguese. But feel free to answer in portuguese! :-)
Tell me more about you leaving home! Have you finished your studie?
heeeey!! vc sumiu!!
nao atualiza mais o blog... q pena... =/
vc recebeu o email q eu enviei ha uns 2 meses atras?? soh para saber...
espero q esteja bem
bjos
xx
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